Friday, April 30, 2010


No closing today. Details to follow on Monday.


Tuesday, April 27, 2010


I got an email last week. Well, I got many emails last week. One in particular is relevant to this slowly dying blog. It basically let me know that closing will be held on this coming Friday. Hooray.

I forwarded it along to my my mortgage fellow and asked him if he had everything he needed to get this thing closed on time (late). He was not optimistic (surprise). He let me know that the appraisal still had not been done. Awesome. I handed a check to him ($550) weeks ago for the appraisal. I was displeased.

He let me know that since I have the keys to the place I would be getting a call from the appraiser any minute to set up a time. Three minutes after I hung up the phone, the appraiser gave me a call. We agreed to meet on Saturday at 2:30.

I lied to him.

I did not show up. Instead, I gave the keys to John McCann, Realtor and he showed up. The appraisal was finished and as far as I know, we are on track for Friday.

Hopefully when closing actually takes place, I will be updating this terrible web log on a more frequent basis.

Until next time.

Monday, April 19, 2010


I found out some information about the closing. Specifically, the location. Only the location. Crap. Did I find out anything else, you know, like the more important when the closing will be held? Hecks no.

I asked again for an update this morning and here is the response:

I just got off the phone with the short sale attorney – apparently there was one remaining form that had to be resent because it was faxed and illegible. That has been resent, and the attorney is going to communicate with them today to confirm that they received it. He says that we are definitely looking at a closing for next week, and will be calling me back shortly to set a hard time and date. The closing will be held on the 12th floor of the Turk’s Head Building, at the law firm of Darrow Everett. Thanks for your patience.

Armed with this information, I immediately checked Wikipedia for any further information. Sadly, the writers of this entry were/are not clairvoyant and I still have only a vague idea of when closing will occur..

There you have it. Maybe next week?

Thursday, April 15, 2010

24 Hours = 24+ Hours

I got another update yesterday. This time, from the sellers agent. Here it is:

As John probably mentioned, we should have a firmer update within the next 24 hours about the when/where of the closing. I will forward to John as soon as I hear. Thank you.

Therefore, I will hear back from someone in greater than 24 hours.

Aside: I wish there were a key on a standard qwerty keyboard for the mathematical representation of 'therefore'. You know, the three dots in an upward facing triangle. I love that thing.

Complimentary Aside: Little known fact, there is also a mathematical representation of the word 'because'. It is the inverted form of the 'therefore'. Three dots with a downward facing point.

Let's use them together, shall we?

∵ All bank workers are slow. ∵ The seller's agent is essentially working for a bank. ∴ I will not hear anything in the aforementioned 24 hour window.

Another one:

∵ All those who know that the because sign exists are nerds. ∵ You now know it exists. ∴ You are a nerd.

Eat that nerd.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Teeny Weeny Update

I asked for an updated from the bank through the seller's Realtor through my Realtor. It's a great system.

Anyways, here's the update:

The attorney has made up the HUD for review with the bank and we should be close to the close.

Further bulletins as events warrant.

(Here's where I stole, and continually steal, that phrase from.)

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Just Kidding


So after all that delicious optimism yesterday, it turn out that we won't actually be closing this Friday. Killer.

When I sat down at work this morning, I checked my email. Not all that unusual. I had a message from John McCann Realtor sent at 8:45 last evening. Here are it's contents:

Good Evening Ryan,
The attached is an extension from the lawyer for the bank. It means the closing will be some time after the 9th of April but before the end of the month. The lawyer told Chris that he will close as fast as possible and the end of the month is just the outside date. This is not unusual for a short sale, and I think all is well.

There you have it. The seller's bank's real estate department is, surprisingly, staffed by apathetic lazy folks, just like pretty much every bank in existence. The people that work in these departments are either overworked (unlikely) or bad at their supposed jobs (more likely). I've come to realize that if you are dealing with a bank for anything other than banking, then you should be prepared for unsatisfactory work. I chose my wording carefully in that sentence, as my first impulse was to type 'sub-standard work'. Sadly, when it comes to banks and real estate, this work is actually the standard.

In any event, I signed the stupid form and will wait to hear from the stupid bank, probably a day in advance, so I can close on this stupid house and throw all kinds of money into it.

Monday, April 5, 2010

The Great Flood

The title of this post is a reference to the super lame name given to the famous Noah's Arc flood in the Bible. You'd figure something that crazy would get a better name. Sadly, the writer (Moses by most accounts) used up all of his creative energy on concocting it (or writing down the previously concocted and passed down oral horror story) and nothing was left for the naming. Oh well.

Lame titles aside, it rained here in Rhode Island for awhile. While we were gone and when we got back, it was raining. A lot. You've probably seen in the news that RI is under water and National Emergency and blah blah blah... Our apartment and my workplace didn't flood, so I haven't been all that concerned about it (as I am apparently a selfish jerk).

I am now concerned about it.

I gave Tony the Mortgage Fellow a call this morning asking if we were still on track for a Friday closing. He sounded worried and said we are no longer on track. I take all thing negative that he says with a grain of salt, as he is a super extra worrier. This instance was no exception.

I asked him why he thought things were off track. He blamed Jesus and his holy weather machine.

He told me that since it rained for eight weeks in a row here, there has been a lot of flooding (as mentioned earlier). Because of said flooding, a lot of local basements have been filling with water. The appraisers that mortgage companies use now have to double check everything. Since they are double checking everything that they are doing, they are kind of busy.


I need that appraisal done by Wednesday to have a reasonable chance of closing this Friday. Closing could possibly take place if the appraisal is done on Thursday morning, but Tony may explode if that's the case (he's kind of high strung).

I am no too worried right now. I handed a check for $550 (yikes) to Tony at lunch and fully expect an appraiser to cash that check by Wednesday. If you ask me how I'm feeling about it on Wednesday morning and I haven't heard anything, my tune may change.

We'll see what Jesus has to say about this...