Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Phone Fun. Or Phone Phun. Or Fone Fun. Whatever.


I gave the awesome folks at Traveler's a call to sort out the whole "we'd like to cancel your coverage on the 20th of this month" thing. I spoke to an overly friendly, soft spoken woman about my situation. I laid out exactly what happened and what as happening, and asked if it would be possible to have my policy not canceled. She put me on hold to talk to the underwriters of said policy. Underwriters are the worst, so I was not hopeful.

She got back on the phone after about five minutes and informed me that the underwriters told me to go pound sand. They didn't actually say that (as far as I know), but said something to that effect, as they are still planning on canceling my insurance coverage, because the house is still vacant. I vented a little frustration to the woman on the phone by asking her if she could kindly, and as sarcastically as possible, thank the underwriters for me. She probably won't. She definitely won't.

What's next? I need to get insurance from somewhere else by the 20th. Hooray.


Saw Salt. I won't tell you whether or not Angelina Jolie is on the side of the Russians, but I will tell you this: she needs to eat a cheeseburger or seventeen. She looks like my grandmother looks right now. My grandmother died in 2005. I don't understand her appeal (Jolie's, not my grandmother's). Blech.


I woke up and checked my email account, and found an interesting correspondence from Richard Who Hands Me Money. The gist of it? He wanted to hand me money. I gave him a call and we made arrangements to meet up at my home (the Courtyard Marriott) at 2pm. Waboom:

After he handed that sweet check over, I asked him how it was going. He said that the Traveler's is trying to copulate with me against my will. Obviously. I knew going in that the insurance company would look out for their best interest. It's, um, in, uh, their, er, best, ah, interest to do so. Here is a fun tidbit that Richard passed along:

They wanted to only pay for one week of living expenses. One single week. In other words, they want me to foot the bill for the rest of the time I can't live in the house. Considering that the estimate from them took two and a half weeks, at least, to be delivered, one week of additional living expenses comes up a few yards shots of rational. These people are the worst.

Richard assured me that it's (again borrowing from golf) par for the course and to not worry too much.

After that nice revelation, he pointed out that I would have to get in touch with M&T Bank, the mortgage holder on the property, in order to get that check cashed. It's apparently state law here in RI to make the check out to everyone, including the mortgage holder. This is terrible news:

I gave M&T a call this morning to find out how to get some money, and, ur dur, there's a huge process involved. Basically, I have to wait for them to send me a bunch of stuff to fill out, then send it back, along with the check. They will then cash the check and put the money into escrow. Once in escrow, they will send me a meager 25% of the check amount to get started with. In other words, the above check, which is a fraction of the total check that I will get from Traveler's, is going to be held away from me until the work is completed. Ugh.

This house may never be inhabitable. Please don't tell that to my next insurer.

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