It's Here!

Today is a big day. Today is a very big day. Today is the day that I close on a dumpy multi-family property in a questionable neighborhood in Providence. Today is a day I saddle myself, and wife, with tremendous debt. Today is a day that the mad scramble to finish a house that needs months of work in less than months begins. A very big day indeed.

No it isn't.

That day has been, yet again, postponed.

It seems to me that the underwriters, who will give me thousands of dollars with which to buy a house, haven't even started working. I have no concrete proof of this, as the underwriters have no contact information that I am allowed to see (or they may not exist at all). I do, however, have a bit of circumstantial evidence.

Exhibit A: The underwriters requested that stupid sheet I described a few times in the last couple of posts.

Exhibit B: The underwriters requested a copy of the signed Purchase and Sales. Seriously.

Exhibit C: I love that there is an 'h' in the word "exhibit".

While all three of those exhibits are true, only the first two can be used as actual evidence.

The underwriters clearly only started to do anything on this stupid house yesterday. Again. Yesterday. These are the same folks that requested postponement until today.

I asked, while knowing the answer before the question was asked, to get the contact info of the underwriters so I could, "swear at them" (which I have been known to do). Tony the Mortgage Fellow told me that he couldn't do that. I responded with the obvious, "but those folks need to be sworn at." He chuckled. Tony the Mortgage Fellow thinks I'm hilarious. He is incorrect.

I have no real update on when the closing will take place, but I am going to talk to Tony this afternoon and find out, "his instincts on when this thing is going to close".

Huzzah.