Tuesday, March 10, 2009


I just got back from today's lunchtime house visit. I had to go and meet with a loan guy, so he could hand over some money I'm already paying interest on, even though it's just sitting in escrow. He was a little late, so I went over the master bathroom setup and decided to add a skylight, in lieu of an exhaust fan, in the bathroom. About the same price, much better looking. I also met the electrician, who is very dumb. Once the loan guy showed up, we got to it. He toured the house and saw what was going on, then decided it would be fine to hand over some of my money.

When we were finishing up and signing some things, I noticed a short, squat, fat, bright red haired older woman just kind of hanging around. About to leave, I overheard the woman asking who the owner of the house was. Sadly, my contractor let her know it was me. While he's a good contractor and is doing very good work, very quickly, he obviously has no idea that I don't like interacting with people, let alone obviously unbalanced people.

She introduced herself and I immediately forgot her name. She then proceeded to tell me that she's been in her house since '74, has two adult sons in their mid 30's, and is very glad to see someone has finally bought the house next to her, as the old owners apparently stunk. She also noticed the permit hanging on the front door, touched her index finger to her nose, raised her eyebrows,lightly patted her behind and said, "that's good. the people around here have noses." I have no idea what that means.

Thereafter, she let me know that to her, "refinance means put money back into the house. They just took it and put it in their butts," referring to the old owners who, if you remember, stunk. I wish I was making this up.

When we were finished chatting, or when I had slowly sidled far enough away to get my point across, I got in my car. I then contacted the police station, since I had made friends with them on Saturday when they asked out my in-street dumpster, and asked for the sketch artist. On my way back to work, I described the woman to the artist and he sent me this image. Keep in mind that this is just a police sketch, so it's not as great as it could be. It's still pretty good from an over the phone description.

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