Friday, May 8, 2009

The end?

Last night, I continued the painting. Finished up the entry way, finished up the woodwork in the living room, started the kitchen.

Also, a plumber came by and fixed the drain situation, so hopefully that's the end of basement floods.

In other news, Electrician Ron related, here's how it went:

Despite Ron's terrifying text message threat, I called him a few more times during my lunch break yesterday. After I left my second consecutive message, my phone rang. I picked it up and saw who was calling. "Electrician". The Electrician? Hooray!

Trying my best to contain my excitement, I picked answered the phone. Below is a rough transcription of the conversation:

Ryan - *ultra sarcastically enthusiastic* "Hey Ron!"

Electrician Ron - *deadpan* "Ryan. I won't be coming to your house anymore."

Ryan's Inner Monologue - "Ryan, please contain yourself. There are at least 75 different sarcastic things you could say here because of the utter insanity of what he just said. Of course he's not coming to the house anymore. If he had any intention of doing so, he would have called, or maybe even visited the house to do some actual work. He's insane and apparently unaware that he's stating the super obvious."

R - *feigning surprise* "Really? Why's that?"

ER - "I called the Cranston Police."

R - "I don't care who you called. You're either going to send me a check or do the work you've been paid to do, or I'm going to keep calling you and texting you incessantly, or maybe even visit your house, until one of the two of those things is done."

ER - "It doesn't bother me. I got my phone on vibrate."

R - It obviously does bother you if you 'called the police'.

R - "I'm sending you a check, don't worry."

R - "For how much?"

ER - "$150."

R - "$150? That doesn't seem like enough."

RIM - "Ryan. Just take the stupid check, hang up the phone and be done with this r-tard."

ER - "$150. That's what's left."

R - "Awesome."

ER - "I called (your employer)."

R - "Ha."

ER - "I spoke to the legal department at (your employer) and also to the head of security. You're harrassing (he probably misspelled it when he said it) me on their time."

RIM - "No he didn't Ryan. He's making it up. Even if he wasn't making it up, who cares? What is the legal department going to do? What is the head of security going to do, throw me out of work? Plus, the HR lady with the short hair already hates you; it's her you have to worry about..."

R - "That's awesome. I'm sure they care. Since you're apparently finished trying to screw me, are you going to continue to screw Al (Medina, General Contractor)?"

ER - "I'm not screwing him."

R - "Yes you are. You still have work to do in the house for him. Plus he bought and gave you baseboard electric heaters for the second floor. I assume those will come along with the check you're sending?"

ER - *getting angry* "He never gave those to me."

R - "Don't lie."

ER - "I never got anything from him."

R - "Stop lying. Why would Al tell me he gave them to you if he didn't? Either he's lying for no reason, or you're lying because you returned them to Home Depot and got money for them."

ER - "I don't know what you're talking about."

R - "Stop lying. I already know that you're super professional, so you don't need to keep proving it."

ER - "I called up (your employer). You're bothering me on their time. They'll be calling you. The Cranston Police will also be giving you a call for this harrassment."

RIM - "Ryan, does he really think that a threat like that would scare you? He 'called' two departments that don't have anything to do with something like this. Plus, as far as I know, you can't wait to talk to the Cranston Police about this."

R - "That's awesome Ron. Just send me the check. I'm not going to stop calling you until I have the check. I'm sure it'll arrive shortly, as you're very reliable."

ER - "I'll send it. Bye."

R - "Bye Ron. You're awesome. Really."


Two things:

1. Will he send the check? I don't have any idea.

2. Did I just get rid of the best blog fodder I may ever have? Perhaps.

Whatever the case, once I get that check, if I ever get it, I will be done with Electrician Ron Costa. On the one hand, I will lose a terrible idiot from my life, but on the other hand, it's the terrible idiots that make it funny. if I don't get the check by Monday evening, I'm going to start calling him again, so part of me hopes that I don't get the check.

Lastly, Tom, if you get any calls from the head of security or the legal department, just point them to this blog. I think they'll understand. Actually, no they won't. They're humorless.

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