Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Bones and Insects.

After work yesterday, I kept doing yard work, trying to get it ready to plant some things. While lugging the free patio stone from beside the garage to the driveway (next to where it will ultimately end up), Amanda and I noticed some things.

First, we noticed that there were a lot of big black spiders. I have no idea what kind, but I do know that there are a lot of them. We saw probably 20 or so crawling around. It was unnerving. Here's one of them that crawled up the side of the garage. I have a Canon brand lens cap that I use for scale, not for monetizing this blog with ad revenue:

Secondly, when getting down to the bottom of the rock pile, I uncovered a few bones. Larger than chicken, but smaller than midget human:

I found a few more bones, pretty much identical to the ones pictured. They look like leg bones of some sort.

Also underneath the bottom rocks is a white, chalk like substance. I have no idea what it is, but I can only assume it was spread around with a specific purpose.

Amanda and I have two theories about the above findings:

1. The family that lived here buried a dog or something, but didn't dig very deeply. Instead of doing a little bit of hard labor (which the craftsmanship throughout the house proves they had an aversion to), they just piled a bunch of flagstone on top of the critter.

That makes sense, but what about the white substance? It is sidewalk chalk that the dumb kids who lived there tried to color the dirt with, before the dog was crushed under the flagstone. Duh.

2. The creepy and annoying next door neighbors have their basement lights on most nights. It's kind of scary. We can only postulate that the loudmouth and handshaking neighbors use their significant people skills to lure kids into their lit basement in the evening to skin them. Amanda and I believe that the bones in the yard are from an earlier, possibly failed skinning attempt. Unhappy with the results of the filleting, they dumped some of the kid in their neighbors' yards, using my current yard as the grounds for the child's legs. The white substance we can only assume was used to hide the stench of decaying child.

It's quite obvious that number two is the choice.

As for work at the house, I'm still getting estimates on the sod and door work in the house. No commitments yet.

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